Ever think about why most writers on the back cover have their hans somewhere around their faces or are photographed in black and white wearing black? Because most writers do lots and lots of sitting. Show me a writer that’s cranked out 400 pages double spaced and I’ll show you a writer with one fat ass and two chins.
Couple that with being a mountain writer. Mountain writers not only do lots of sitting, they also wind up indoors too much because snow is, well cold, wet, dampens the paper, etc. They have no coffee houses to walk to our sushi stops (always my goals on walks in the city). Although where I live you don’t have to be a writer to have winter fluff. Most people have it around here. Most of the winter exercises include splitting wood and building fires and baking.
Yeah, I know that somewhere there’s a waif-thin sinewy woman in Tierra del Fuego who writes all day and maintains a crisp weight of 100 on a bad day. I don’t even want to know how she does it.
So when Lela Davidson on http://www.modernmoms.com put out the call for company as she embarks on a personal training challenge with Gunnar –I thought, well? I’m not sure if I do challenges. I do deadlines, true. But most of the time challenge makes me bow and make an excuse to leave the scene of the crime. But yes, I’m up to the challenge. I need better reasons than I want to lose weight though. I need fear and self-loathing.
But in a month, I won’t be in the Mountains, I’ll be on our annual summer trek to Santa Monica. That special place where a size 8 is extra large. They don’t allow fat people in Santa Monica. It’s some sort of ordinance I’m sure. Or you can be there in a residential neighborhood but only for two hours, then you get one of their 65 dollar tickets. In truth, I don’t want to be a size 8. I just want to wear what’s in the other side of my closet. I want to be able to buy something on sale on modcloth.com cause fat girl clothes NEVER go on sale. Every designer who bothers making a 14-16 makes three dresses that sell out immediately. Who are these XS women who don’t buy enough merchandise?!
The advantages to an online personal trainer I’m banking on being enormous (pun intended). I do much better away from crowded gyms where I’ll start to critique the bad music selections and weird scents and microbiological germs that will kill us all. Online feels safer. And I don’t have to worry about someone like me who would look over and judge and eyeroll. Wish me luck. Starts May 21.
1) Keep the former gestational diabetes at bay.
2) Wear what I already have.