Personal Apocalypses

The thing about the mountains and mountain living is that it gets primal. You can’t worry about politics and bombs going off because a flooded river might over take you. Or it will snow so heavily that you can’t get out the driveway. Do you have enough food for the whole week that you can heat off the wood stove in case the power goes? Can you melt snow for water when the water quits pumping? 

Oddly enough these are all happy thoughts. So much of the time it can be just me ,the man, the kids, the dog —and the various things that go bump in the night.

The 2012 Apocalypse is of course impending, impeding, and sitting there waiting on the very day of daughter’s eighth birthday.  If it comes of course, at least I won’t be depressed about my student loan debt anymore…does it all go down in fury of flames?

There have of course been many personal apocalypses this year. Little upheavals. Little damages. Big upheavals. Big damages. Unanswerable questions. What do you do when someone you love runs off in the wrong direction? Say have a nice trip? What if there is no wrong direction?

I’ve been trying to keep myself away from sci-fi and fantasy stuff but I’m of course reading nothing but. Like thinking perhaps all those writers and directors are on to something after all. Like perhaps THEY know something and are here to tell us.

Of course hiding out in the mountains isn’t working. We have cable.

Of course reading my favorite writers just reminds me that I ‘ve so much more to write.

Of course there’s nothing I can do to remind you I’m here for you and your personal apocalypse. The one that became instant, just add water. Voila. Family. Voila. A reason to live. Voila. Cast aside everyone else and get to your life raft.

Or something like that.

Will it all come to an end? Or are we just coming to and end? And who is we these days when I don’t know you anymore?

THis is what happens two storms into a three storm week when the sky is gray and it’s cold and everything seems stagnant. And I become grateful that the cafe is playing old brit pop classics. Something to cling to and center on because there’s certainly nothing else today.

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About margaretelysiagarcia

Margaret Elysia Garcia primarily writes fiction, essays and poetry from a remote corner of the Sierra Nevada. She's currently working on a non-fiction book about plus-sized modeling. She's also searching for a publisher for her new collection of stories? Mary of the Chance Encounters. Her short story collection Sad Girls & Other Stories out now on Solstice Literary Press. She blogs here and at Throwing Chanclas and Girl Body Pride. Is a contributor to Hip Mama Magazine. She writes the zine The Adventures of Sad Girl with her daughter, Paloma. She’s a three-time director of the national Listen to Your Mother Show in Plumas County (www.listentoyourmothershow.com). She has an alternative women’s music show Milkshake & Honey on Plumas Community Radio (www.kqny919.org).
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