My Middle Aged Punk Band

My Middle Aged Punk Band

I’ve often thought that

Having a middle-aged all female punk band

Would be cool. It would be different

Than the first time around.

When I was 18 I screamed with a trio

Called the Celibate Sluts and after getting

Boyfriends and each others boyfriends

We went by Nubile Sponge

We broke up over boys and needing jobs

And food. And graduation.

We had anger on our side.

We had a patriarchy to take down.

We had armpit hair and our grandmothers’ credit cards

We had abusive boyfriends we

Didn’t tell anyone about because we were

Strong women who should know better.


I had no idea I would have

So much scream left in me.

I had no idea that the dominant paradigm

Would still be here

That insurance policies would baulk

At basic health care coverage.

That unqualified men could be hired over me

In the 21st century.

I thought all this shit would’ve been solved by now

And on top of this ?

The babies have been birthed

The marriages have been had

The careers have been misguided

I want to be in a middle aged all female punk band

I have scream left in me.

We will be called the Last Rotting Eggs

Or Random Facial Hair Hysteria

Or The Whore Moans

Or Men of Pause

We will want to belt songs like:

Jumping Jack Hot Flash

And Your Girlfriend is the same age as Our Daughter

And Fibroid Asteroid Belt and Bartholin Cyst Brigade

Over My Dead Ovaries

Texas Wand Probe Massacre

Cervix UnServiced

Don’t Talk You’re Stupid

I don’t want you for your mind

Not Tonight Honey, Get a Boyfriend

All Estrogened Up and No Place to Go

Midday Bloodbath Mental Pause

I know, I know you get the picture you don’t need

A road map. But maybe you do.

My middle aged all female punk band

Will tour the country.

Angry Uterine Lining will open up for us

Sweet looking 21 year old boys will

Follow us around like lap dogs

The drummer will take off with one

Of them. And never return. We’ll get

A younger drummer and then suddenly

Men our age will go to the shows.

The bass player will try

Women and discover she should

Have done that 20 years ago.

We tried to tell her at the time.

We will run out of money.

We will run out of venues that will have us.

The guitarist’s husband will wire us money

And pay a couple bills and ask

Are you sure you ladies wouldn’t

Just like a week in Cabo San Lucas instead?

But there’s still scream left in us.

There’s still the scream.

And often

Little else.






About Margaret Elysia Garcia

Margaret Elysia Garcia is the author of short story ebook collection Sad Girls and Other Stories, and the audiobook Mary of the Chance Encounters, and the co-founder and lead playwright of Las Pachucas, theatrical troupe. She teaches creative writing and theatre in a California state prison.
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1 Response to My Middle Aged Punk Band

  1. Love this! I play guitar 🙂

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